Other Beverages, Other Worlds
I was intrigued to see what a new Instagram follower — ‘rating.drink‘ — was all about. Annie posts “dumb daily reviews & bad photos of canned drinks” from New York City. Along with reviews of GTs Gratitude, Bear’s Fruit Blueberry Lavender Kombucha, and Health-Ade Holiday Cheers was a dizzying array of other drinks: from Diet Pepsi to La Croix Strawberry Peach, Monster Energy Ultra Watermelon to Liquid Death Mango Chainsaw.
It’s clear that Annie will taste and review any and all canned beverages, including kombucha. But what about these other beverages? Who are the fans of the colas of the world?
Down the rabbit hole
My eyes were opened when I looked into who Annie follows on Instagram. While I’ve done my best to build a comprehensive list of kombucha reviewers, there’s a whole world of other beverages consumed by folks with no interest in healthy, functional drinks. The overwhelming prevalence of these drinks on the shelves is a sign of the size of the sugar-fueled parallel universe. This makes me wonder:
How can so many people willingly consume such drinks? Don’t they know about the importance of gut health and the dangers of refined sugars? Have they never heard of the blissful, fizzy goodness of kombucha? And energy drinks? Are you kidding me? Those things are like liquid candy but with a crash-and-burn energy cycle that’ll leave you feeling like a deflated balloon. Don’t even get me started on the artificial flavors and colors. I mean, I know I’m a bit of a health nut, but come on, people! Can’t we just make a few better choices? Drink some kombucha, eat some fermented foods, and let’s get our gut health in check!
The reality is these are the kinds of refreshments that the vast majority consume and crave. They are ubiquitous, easily accessible and convenient. This is where the money is in the beverage world–as anyone who has tried to interest distributors in their kombucha brand is probably well aware.
Here’s a small selection of Instagram posts from this weird and wonderful rabbit hole.
Root Beer Review Time: ‘I rate root beer’
I remember my dad saying that mug root beer tasted like dirt when I was a little kid. That’s not true and it’s become harder to find around where I live. Mug is a solid root beer. I still prefer Barqs, A&W, and IBC but this is a good root beer .
Revd Reviews: ‘Energy Drink, Soft Drink/Soda and Sports Drink based content and reviews! We highlight all brands and businesses Big and Small!’
Tropical Punch was my personal favorite flavor in this pack. Why? Well… this is the first zero sugar flavor that I honestly could not tell was a zero sugar formula. For reference, it essentially tastes similar to the Pacific Punch flavor by Monster Energy which is a personal favorite of all time. Bias aside, the mixture of citrus, tropical and I assume a slight amount of berry flavor in the mix creates a very refreshing beverage overall.
Bells Bev Reviews: ‘These are my drink reviews and occasional snack reviews’
Today, I picked up Mtn Dew Major Melon, a watermelon flavored dew. I haven’t seen these anywhere near me, but found one on vacation. This is another dew that’s done really well to me with the watermelon flavor and is another unique one that usually isn’t done too well. Another solid dew that’s a nice change up.
Around the world in 80 sips
There are legions of other beverage reviewers around the world.
Colas of the World: ‘I have been drinking cola as long as I can remember and will do forever!’
It’s that special month again and it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! So it was time to pull out some of my McDonald’s Coca Cola glasses for the Santa coke!
The anemic smell of the drink was quite interesting to me. After opening, somehow the love child of the nail polish remover, the rotten peach, and the stale trash “happy” my sensitive soul, which was made sweeter with a drop of honey. Unpleasant, but tolerable… But the taste is different. It does not differ much from the aromas, it only changes in terms of intensity. Stronger, but still restrained. The peach… Khmm… The stale, fermented peach compote juice clearly dominates, to which some honey tea-likeness is added, which, although it improves the experience a little, but unfortunately still cannot completely transform the world of pleasures that are on the way to deterioration.
Can collectors
Even more bizarre than the soda and energy drink reviewers are the fanboys and girls who collect empty cans.
Belgium Monster Collector_51: ‘Presenting you different designs worldwide : recent and old forgotten rare discontinued ones’
inekon_can_collector: ‘collecting cans around the world!’
Memorabiliaclub3.0: ‘Italian Association of Coca-Cola Collectors’
Kombucha: MIA
While it’s clear there are many collectors with a narrow focus on energy drinks, colas, and caffeinated beverages, it’s a reality-check to read one prolific reviewer — based in New York — who has posted 900+ reviews on everything from sodas and seltzer to energy drinks and fruit juices. However, he chooses not to review kombucha, beer, or coffee.
Beverage Champion: ‘I drink a lot of beverages. Here’s what I think about them.’
Final thoughts
It’s clear from my visit to this other world that those of us who choose healthy drinks occupy a small corner of the beverage universe. That’s not to deny people their choices. After all, everyone is free to drink whatever they want and live with the consequences…
